The Fumbler does not like to boast.

Who is he kidding? He LOVES to boast.

The Fumbler was 539-122 last season, good enough for an .815 "win" percentage. That's his best accuracy percentage in at least eight years.

The Fumbler considered retirement, you know, to quit while he's ahead. But what else would he do with his spare time?

He spent the summer trying to find out.

He tried juggling, but he quickly dropped that hobby. He tried competitive eating, but he just couldn't stomach it. He tried knitting, but it turns out he's a nitwit.

So The Fumbler decided -- as long as his ankle healed properly -- to give it another go.

He's brimming with confidence after a successful training camp. He's in peak mental condition (abhorrent physical condition, to be honest) and is poised for his best season yet.

Here are his thoughts on this weekend's top matchups:

Chartiers Valley at Montour, 7:10 p.m. today, Thomas J. Birko Stadium -- Wayne Capers Jr. is back, and he looks stronger than ever. The Fumbler likes Montour, especially with North Catholic transfer Julian Durden at running back, but he like Capers Jr. and the Colts more. Winner: Chartiers Valley.

Perry at North Hills, 7:30 p.m. today, Martorelli Stadium -- Last time The Fumbler went to a North Hills game, he was so impressed with the shiny floors at Bella Ria's restaurant that he'll be sure to drop by tonight before he catches the Perry-North Hills game. He's also pretty sure Perry won't want to return to Martorelli Stadium after losing to the Indians tonight, even if it is less than 2 miles away. Winner: North Hills.

Upper St. Clair at Shaler, 7:30 p.m. today, Martig Memorial Stadium -- Both teams are missing key players from last season -- some to graduation and some for other reasons. The Fumbler thinks Shaler will be a great team in a couple years, but until then, the Panthers should have the edge. Winner: Upper St. Clair.

Gateway at Bishop McDevitt, 2 p.m. Saturday, McDevitt Field -- Unlike the past few seasons, the Gators will face an early challenge when they travel to Harrisburg to take on this powerhouse. But with a new quarterback, and without star safety Dondi Kirby, Gateway might struggle. Winner: Bishop McDevitt.

Manatee, Fla. at Woodland Hills, 8 p.m. Saturday, The Wolvarena -- Manatee is the No. 8 team in the nation, according to USA Today. The Wolverines are defending WPIAL champions but have to replace a quarterback, a running back and a load of linemen. The Wolverines will be a great team this season, but it will take a few weeks for them to hit their stride. Winner: Manatee.

And now the rest (Home team in CAPS):

WPIAL Class AA -- (Interstate Conference) SOUTHMORELAND over Brownsville; JEANNETTE over East Allegheny; Greensburg Central Catholic over WAYNESBURG; CHARLEROI over Mount Pleasant. (Midwestern Conference) Aliquippa over LAUREL; Beaver over RIVERSIDE; FREEDOM over Ellwood City; BEAVER FALLS over Mohawk.

WPIAL Class A -- (Eastern Conference) BISHOP CANEVIN over Avonworth; North Catholic over SPRINGDALE; NORTHGATE over OLSH. (Tri-County South) Beth-Center over Frazier; California over MAPLETOWN; JEFFERSON-MORGAN over West Greene.

Non-conference -- CENTRAL VALLEY over Allderdice; HOLLIDAYSBURG over Altoona; INDIANA over Apollo-Ridge; FOX CHAPEL over Baldwin; Blackhawk over HAMPTON; NEW CASTLE over Butler; SETON-LASALLE over Carrick; Chartiers-Houston over UNION; Clairton over WASHINGTON; UNIONTOWN over Connellsville; Cornell over QUAKER VALLEY; BRENTWOOD over Deer Lakes; RINGGOLD over Elizabeth Forward; ERIE CATHEDRAL PREP over Erie McDowell; GREENSBURG SALEM over Hempfield; FREEPORT over Highlands; Hopewell over BELLE VERNON; Keystone Oaks over AMBRIDGE; BETHEL PARK over Kiski Area; Kittanning over FORD CITY; Knoch over BRASHEAR; CARLYNTON over Langley; Latrobe over DERRY; MARS over Moon; LAUREL HIGHLANDS over McGuffey; SHADY SIDE ACADEMY over Oliver; ST. EDWARD (Ohio) over Penn Hills; MT. LEBANON over Pine-Richland; FRANKLIN REGIONAL over Plum; NORWIN over Seneca Valley; ROCHESTER over Serra Catholic; Shenango over Avella; South Side Beaver at BURGETTSTOWN; NORTH ALLEGHENY over State College; Steel Valley over ALBERT GALLATIN; Sto-Rox over SOUTH ALLEGHENY; CANON-MCMILLAN over Trinity; BURRELL over Valley; West Allegheny over SOUTH PARK; SOUTH FAYETTE over West Mifflin; NESHANNOCK over West Shamokin; FORT CHERRY over Western Beaver; Yough over NEW BRIGHTON.

WPIAL Class A -- (Eastern Conference) Riverview over WILKINSBURG. (Tri-County South Conference) Monessen over GEIBEL.

Non-conference -- WESTINGHOUSE over Bentworth; Schenley over SUMMIT; Central Catholic over Akron Buchtel, Ohio (Rally at the Wolverina); Steubenville, Ohio, over McKeesport (Rally at the Wolverina); Thomas Jefferson over Cocoa, Fla. (Rally at the Wolverina).

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