TOKYO

Tokyo is huge. If you stand on the top level of the highest skyscraper and do a 360-degree turnabout, you will see city to the horizon. It has parks, but no suburbs. High-speed roadways run through canyons of architecture, but numerous side streets, large and small, define neighborhoods, and each 'hood has its own main street and koban, police station cubicle.

The city is dense, crowded and clean, and the people are polite to a fault. The streets are so safe, bicycles -- and almost everybody rides a bike -- are never locked and kindergartners can walk alone to school. There is no graffiti. None. Even though the Japanese eat rice or noodles at every meal, they are lean. Must be all that biking.

The city is easy to maneuver, so you needn't be "Lost in Translation." Taxis are abundant and clean -- the seats have washable, white, lacy slipcovers, and many drivers wear white gloves.

I was in Tokyo for almost a month in June visiting family. While my son, Jack, was at work and the kids were at school, my daughter-in-law, Umarin, was my personal etiquette and tour guide.

Best tips: There is zero tolerance for both driving while cell phone-talking and driving under the influence; tipping is never required or expected; toothpicks are on every table, but it's considered disgusting to blow your nose into a tissue in public. Prices approximate those in Manhattan.

These are my top picks for fun things to do in this most progressive of cities:

This perfect Japanese formal garden is a cultural, other-century experience. The garden might be adorned in spring with cherry blossoms, in early summer with pink azaleas, in fall with crimson leaves and in winter with snow.

The name means "garden of eight views," and Happo-en is a traditional circuit-style garden. For a lesson in landscape harmony, follow the path along arrangements of trees, stones, water and earth. Some of the bonsai trees in the garden are more than 500 years old. See the stacked stone lanterns, and stop at small meditation houses. A secluded pond is stocked with waterfowl and yellow, white and orange carp.

You probably will see a wedding party on your walk -- we saw three -- and they were flattered to have their pictures taken. Be sure to reserve a time at the tea house for a private traditional tea ceremony. Reserve lunch, too. The restaurant, Kochuan, overlooks the garden, and the food is exquisite classic Japanese. There is no entry charge to the garden or for the tea.

Telephone: 03-3443-3111

Address/neighborhood: 108-8631 / 1-1-1-Shirokanedai, Minato-ku

This mother of all upscale department stores is smack in the middle of the "shoppiest" part of the city. Take yen, take plastic, and leave your willpower at the door because you will do serious damage in this commercial wonderland. If shoes are your weakness, you will be blissed out. The bookstore, Kinokuniya, on the sixth floor has English language books. All purchases are beautifully wrapped.

Although sensory overload is a risk, go to the food hall on the lowest level to shop and taste all manner of global cuisine from 120 outlets of Japanese and international boutique vendors. There is a vinegar sommelier and someone to guide you through the dozens of forms of salt. Nuanced soy sauces are marketed like fine wine. Pastries are gorgeous, sushi the freshest. Buy lunch, try a snack. But please know that one does not ever walk around eating food out of hand. All counters have seating, some with as few as three to five stools. We braked for a lunch of sauced eel on rice with miso soup and green tea.

Telephone: 03-5361-1122

Address/neighborhood: 5-24-2 Sendagaya/ Shinjuku-ku, Shinjuku

Yes, you must see the convenience stores, which include 7-Eleven, AM/PM and Natural Lawson. They are on every corner. At the konbini, locals pay bills, purchase lottery and baseball tickets, and buy breakfast, snacks and dinners. Natural Lawson, an eco-friendly chain, has the best food: fresh sushi, whole-grain-bread sandwiches, and fish or pork-topped rice sets with pickles. The baked goods include croissants -- plain, with chocolate or filled with the Japanese favorite, sweet adzuki beans. Drinks are seasonal and feature limited-edition novelty flavors. Nobody in Tokyo ever risks dehydration. You can't miss the beverage vending machines in every block, stocked with juices, colas, beer, spirits and coffee.

The restaurant is in a small frame house tucked away on a side street. The name means "pig gang," and the restaurant specializes in pork sirloin and filet from heritage-breed hogs from boutique farms. Very serious pig. The specialty of the house is tonkatsu, the ubiquitous panko-breaded and deep-fried pork cutlet and the favorite dish of Tokyo-ites. The twist? Only brand-name and heritage pork is served, such as Agoo-buta from Okinawa, Eishow-ton from Central Japan (whose ancestors are from China, and whose fat is sweet and delicious) and, believe it or not, acorn-fed Jamon Iberico. Go for the Butagumi-Zen Special, five small juicy, thick and delicious pieces, three sirloin and two filet, with each piggy from a different area and cooked to perfection.

With shoes off and stashed in a cubby cabinet, you sit on the floor. There are tatami rooms, but we requested, for Grandma's (my) sake, a table with a sunken, deep leg space. Begin dinner with icy beer and warm sake. Tonkatsu comes with a vegetable appetizer, shredded cabbage, rice, miso soup and Japanese pickles. The price is about $40 American.

Tel: 03-5466-6775

Address/neighborhood: Nishi-Azabu 2-24-9, Roppongi Hills

Like sewing or crafting materials? Two small connecting buildings sell nothing but. The fabrics and textiles side has five floors. There, find old kimono, denim, cotton and vintage fabrics on floor one; wools, jerseys and knits on two; costume, lace and spangled on three; leather, stretch and wetsuit fabric on four (who makes his or her own wetsuit?); boa, velour, velvet and polyurethane on five. Cross the alleyway to find seven floors of accessories and supplies: buttons, buckles, yarn, weaving, crochet, spangles, zippers, eyelets, beads, patterns and a whole floor of threads. Buy now, and worry later about finding a dressmaker at home.

Tel: 03-3352-5411

Address/ neighborhood: Shinjuku-ku, Shinjuku

Practice your chopstick skills before you go, although all restaurants keep at least a couple of forks set aside.

• Unagi donburi. Donburi means "food arranged on steamed rice." Unagi is eel. Some people freak out because eels look like, um, snakes. Cooked, it's just a piece of fish, sweet-sauced and served over rice, often with shredded omelet to the side. Delish.

• Teriyaki. These small indoor eateries often have a window on the sidewalk. Order a couple of "sticks" of chicken cubes, ground chicken balls or chicken livers. Rice and pickles optional. Ditto delish.

• Ramen. The grandma's chicken soup of the East. Noodle shops are everywhere, and a bowl of ramen is the comfort meal of choice for lunch, dinner and late night. They also serve gyoza (dumplings) and rice bowls. The drink of choice is beer.

• Sashimi, sushi, tempura, shabu-shabu, tofu and soba noodles. If these specialties aren't the best and freshest you will ever encounter, I'll eat my chopsticks.

• Kobe beef. It's true. Kobe beef is amazingly tender and so heavily marbled that it sort of looks like pink seersucker. It was cooked teppanyaki-style on a steel griddle (a teppan), the prototype for copycat American places such as Benihana. Kobe beefiness is totally different in chew and flavor from grain-fed, Chicago-style beef. And grass-fed beef from Argentina is another whole thing. Three beef choices, three experiences. For perspective, my meal with small Kobe steak (200 grams, which is just under a half pound) was $230 American.

Kitchen town is Japan's largest area for wholesale cookware and bulk food. Every cabbie can find it. There are about 150 stores, side by side for about eight city blocks (and their sidestreets), selling dishes, lacquerware, chopsticks, fancy and practical kitchenware, all at better than reasonable prices. At a knife-only store, I bought a rectangular Japanese chopping knife for my husband, the steel hand-forged in layers in the manner of a Samurai sword. In five minutes, the blade was engraved with his name written in graceful Japanese characters. I'd hate to be in the store during an earthquake.

Address: Near Asakusa

Kabuki means song, dance and theater. Edo-period popular theater is splendid, exotic and colorful even if you don't have a clue to the language. Some theaters offer English programs and headphones. Ask your concierge for details. I never attended. My bad.

Tel: 81-3-3541-3131

Neighborhood: Ginza

Take along or buy an extra suitcase. You'll want to shop for small wooden dolls for the girls, lacquerware and trays for the host, a traditional Japanese kite with a scary face for the boys, a handsome collapsible cane for Grandma (folds to fit in a tote bag), a kimono sash for you to use as a table runner, high wooden clogs for fun, and Japanese paper and stationery for everyone. Wonderful, too, an informal summer kimono, a paper umbrella, small fabric pouches, a sake set, ornate hair ornaments or a good luck cat doll. At temples, buy inexpensive wooden Buddhist prayer plaques to hang by the door to keep away evil spirits.

So far, mine works.