No matter where you go in the world, there's a smart cocktail party or gallery opening to get something amorous started -- or, if already started, to move it along.

In Woody's World, that is. Certainly in gorgeous Barcelona, scene of the little crimes and misdemeanors that fill Allen's delicious new romantic comedy. Best friends Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) have come there for a joint summer vacation but with very different needs.

No-nonsense Vicky, just finishing up her master's degree on Catalan "identity," is planning to immerse herself in that culture before returning to marry her conventional fiance, Doug (Chris Messina), in New York. She's a girl with a plan. Cristina is an impulsive free spirit, adept at suffering and self-doubt. She has no plan -- only an unfinished 12-minute film about why love is so hard to find. ("That's a lot to fit into 12 minutes," someone remarks.)

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'Vicky Cristina Barcelona'

4 stars = Outstanding
Ratings explained

• Starring: Rebecca Hall, Scarlett Johansson, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz.
• Rating: PG-13 for mature thematic material involving sexuality, and smoking.
• Web site: 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona'

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Put another way: Cristina and her life are always flying on standby. Vicky never goes anywhere without a nonrefundable roundtrip ticket.

In Barcelona, at one of those patented patter-parties, Cristina catches the eye of tall, dark, handsome artist Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem), still baking rather than basking under the scandalous fallout from his stormy marriage to Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz). Rumor has it that he tried to kill her. Or maybe she tried to kill him.

In any case, he is shockingly direct, in general, and with the American girls in particular: Would they like to come and spend a three-way sex weekend with him in Oveido? Vicky is outraged. Cristina is intrigued.

They go. But Cristina gets sick, forcing Vicky and Juan Antonio to spend a lot more intimate time together than they planned and -- upon the unexpected arrival of Maria Elena -- turning a triangle into a square.

Sharp-tongued Hall is excellent, especially when in high dudgeon (which is most of the time) and when misinterpreting an under-the-table foot rub. Johansson, the yang to Hall's yin, inches endearingly toward self-awareness through the art of her photography, especially during a nifty, sexy red darkroom scene with Cruz -- who is scary, hilarious, violently jealous and riveting.

Bardem, fresh from playing a natural-born killer in "No Country for Old Men," is a fine natural-born lady-killer here. His macho self-assurance conquers all -- except Maria Elena, whose chaotic presence invariably turns him into a wuss.

Like most Allen pix, this one is refreshingly devoid of violence, graphic sex and special F/X. It may be the first PG-13 film to include a bisexual kissing scene -- tasteful to the brink of wholesome! The decision to use Evan Welch as narrator was both wise and clever. Had Woody done it himself, we'd be expecting shtick instead of "just the facts, ma'am." And though some of the plot twists are predictable, the performances are so engaging that we end up liking all four main characters (five, counting Doug).

Art, set and production designs -- thanks to Gaudi and Miro -- are as alluring as Cataluna itself, justifying Allen's new process of letting location drive the story, rather than vice versa: Pick a city and cast the tale from his own reliable rep company, plus a pair of the host country's finest stars.

Nothing wrong with that switcheroo formula if it works as effectively for him elsewhere as it has in London ("Match Point") and now Barcelona. He can hop around the globe and do "Helga Heather Helsinki," "Sasha, Natasha Vladivostok" -- an endless permutation of possibilities.

At a nice crisp 96 minutes, "Vicky" is more pleasantly breezy than profound, but I love its not-so-happy ending. ("Happiness," says Elias Canetti, "is that ridiculous life goal of illiterates.") This is a comedy, after all, not "Mourning Becomes Electra."