DEAR CAT: I'm a 37-year-old single man. One of my closest female friends recently told me that she's been in love with me for a few years. She's already been divorced once, and she just got out of a long-term relationship.

She said that she thinks her relationships haven't worked out because she's secretly been waiting for me. How am I supposed to handle this? I have no romantic feelings for her. I do care about her, but I'm shocked and kind of turned off by this admission. Should I remain friends with her? I also feel angry at her -- why is that? Many questions, I know, but please advise.

-- IN SHOCK

Do you want to ask a question? Send an e-mail to questions@ catscall.com or write to:

Catherine Specter
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
34 Blvd. of the Allies
Pittsburgh, Pa. 15222

... or visit her Web site at catscall.com

DEAR I.S.: Your anger makes sense -- you probably feel like she's blamed you for her romantic failures when you have nothing to do with them. She also hid something major from you for years, and that might give you pause about the authenticity of the friendship. But she didn't hide a bad thing, so don't let your knowledge of it taint your view of the past. Think before you talk with her. And really talk before you make a decision. The most important thing is to be honest about your lack of romantic feelings for her -- if that's still how you feel after a good bit of thinking. Do you feel zero spark for her? Sometimes just knowing someone loves you makes you see him or her in a new light. As for whether you should remain friends ...

Cat's Call: It depends upon whether you can be friends.

DEAR CAT: My wonderful, intelligent, successful sister has been in a dating dry spell for the past six years. She recently had the opportunity to go on a blind date and backed out at the last minute. She complains that she never goes on dates, doesn't have a boyfriend, etc., and her complaints have escalated since she turned 30 this year. I don't know how to respond to her complaints. And, more importantly, how can I help her get out of her drought? I know very few single guys to set her up with. I want her to be happy. And, selfishly, I don't want to hear her complain anymore.

-- SOUNDING "BORED"

DEAR S.B.: Ho-humming isn't hot, and it's downright annoying when it's commonplace. I'm sure it's tough to know your sister is lonely and equally tough to think she doesn't try very hard to fix it. Trouble is, dateless-ness can be a self-perpetuating cycle; i.e., the longer you go without a date, the less inclined you are to act when one comes up. Yes, do your best to set her up (with real prospects, not just anyone), but also try changing the subject when she goes into complaint-mode. Gently urge her to put herself out there by letting everyone know she's looking. Love tends to happen when you least expect it, but ...

Cat's Call: You up your chances when the world knows you're open to it.