Dear Readers: Approximately 50 million Americans spend a lot of time caring for elderly parents, in-laws, grandparents, spouses and other older loved ones. Hence, we receive many letters and e-mails asking for advice about dealing with issues of caregiving.
While we have addressed this topic in past Next Steps columns, we believe that an article appearing this month in the magazine and on the Web site of Caring Today is worth sharing, especially in light of the often-forgotten fact that the recipients of caregiving are not all elderly.
Lee Woodruff, wife of Bob Woodruff, the former co-anchor of ABC's "World News Tonight," tells Caring Today what it was like to become an "instant caregiver" after her husband suffered a grievous brain injury in January 2006 as a result of an improvised explosive device while he was covering the war in Iraq.
Mrs. Woodruff gives three tips for those suddenly thrust into the role of caregiver:
Do something for yourself each day. She relied on an hour-long, early morning swim each day to keep herself centered and physically fit "before the intensity of the day began."
Be a constant advocate for your loved one. Because "one wrong decision, one skipped medication could have dire consequences" for her husband and, ultimately, her family, Mrs. Woodruff learned to listen to and communicate carefully with doctors, seek second opinions and monitor her husband's medication schedules, particularly after hospital shift changes.
Cash in your "chits." Immediately after her husband's injury, friends and acquaintances flooded Woodruff with offers of help. She told everyone she'd give them an IOU to be called in at some future time so that she wouldn't feel like she was constantly asking for favors.
Woodruff also told the magazine about things she would have done differently, such as 1) asking for more help from friends and neighbors instead of holding back for fear of being a burden to others; 2) having a better handle on her family's finances; and 3) seeking emotional help earlier.
You can read the full article and also find other caregiving resources and support at www.caringtoday.com. And based upon our reader inquiries, we find that Woodruff's concerns mirror most we have seen.
We also recommend that caregivers check out the Web site of the American Geriatrics Society (www.americangeriatrics.org).
To avoid caregiver burnout, the AGS recommends several things that caregivers can do:
Get as much information as you can about your loved one's health problems and needs and how they are likely to change over time.
Help your loved ones help themselves by installing grab bars in the bathroom and near the bed, moving supplies to lower shelves, purchasing easy-grip can openers and other utensils, and so on.
Ask trustworthy family, friends and neighbors for assistance.
Take care of yourself, too. If you take care of yourself, you'll be able to take better care of your family member.
Don't take it personally. Remind yourself that any emotionally hurtful behavior on the part of your loved one is a result of illness.
Talk about it. Join a caregiver support group in your area to be able to share your thoughts, feelings and information with others in similar circumstances.
Contact professionals and organizations that assist caregivers. Look in the white pages of your telephone book under "Area Agency on Aging," "Senior Center" or "Senior Services." Or check with your local United Way or religious organizations. Or engage a geriatric care manager (www.caremanager.org), who can give you guidance about respite care services, meal providers, "home helpers," home-nursing services, adult day care and other options that can give you a well-deserved break.
