... Jokers to the right. The east has Louis DeNaples (more on him in just a bit). Out here in the west, we're rolling out our welcome mats for Stephen and Tomisue Hilbert:

"Casinos always have been full of colorful characters, but rarely so colorful as the part-financiers of the planned racetrack and casino in Lawrence County: one an exotic dancer turned apparel designer, the other an Indiana businessman who captained one of the most spectacular business shipwrecks in recent U.S. history. Stephen and Tomisue Hilbert, husband and wife, operate M.H. Equity Investors, a Carmel, Ind., company providing much of the financing for Centaur Inc.'s Valley View Downs. Last autumn, Centaur, an Indiana racing and gaming company, closed on a $1 billion financing package that will pay for the $428 million investment west of New Castle."

Yep, that's her real name. Tomisue. Swear. To. God.

Stephen was the head of Conseco Inc., a major insurance carrier and finance company, before it tanked and its new board kicked him to the curb, with little more than a few baronial estates to his name. Poor guy. Now he and his wife are in charge of one of the biggest private equity firms in the Midwest. Read the full story here.

Dispatches from the east

The Citizens Voice:

"Prosecutors in the Louis A. DeNaples perjury case opposed DeNaples' attempt to have the charges against him dismissed and called for the prompt scheduling of a preliminary hearing in a brief filed Wednesday. DeNaples, accused of lying to state gaming regulators when seeking a license for his Mount Airy Casino Resort, has attacked the prosecution's case in the state Supreme Court and Dauphin County Court. The Dunmore billionaire has maintained his innocence and denied having mob ties."

Striped ties? Yes. Paisley ties even? OK. But not mob ties.

... "Reputed mobster William D'Elia, the imprisoned head of Scranton's Bufalino crime family, had a personal and business relationship that spanned 30 years with Mount Airy Casino Resort owner Louis DeNaples, D'Elia's attorney said Saturday. And D'Elia would have told the Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board about his long-standing ties to DeNaples, but he was never subpoenaed by the board to testify, said attorney James Swetz of Stroudsburg. 'He would have testified and he would have answered any questions truthfully that were posed to him about whether or not he knew Mr. DeNaples, and Bill has known him for 30 years,' Swetz said."

Man, you give a casino license to a guy who's about to be indicted with possible mob ties just one time, and everybody's a critic.

... The DeNaples case has some Republican lawmakers calling for an (unlikely) overhaul of the state's gaming law:

State Sen. Jeffrey Piccola, R-Dauphin, picked an unusual place Tuesday to outline his criticism of the law -- a conference of gambling industry officials sponsored by Spectrum Gaming Group of New Jersey ... Mr. Piccola said he's not trying to get rid of casinos because he knows they're here to stay, and they should even do some good by generating revenue for modest properly tax relief for homeowners and senior citizens. But he said there still are major problems with the current gaming law, so he's drafting a list of what he calls 'necessary reforms' to the law."

How nice is too nice?

The Meadows racetrack casino won't be as nice, or expensive, as one of those ginormous Las Vegas casinos, because it wouldn't be cost-effective to build such a gilded palace.

"Anytime Bethlehem Mayor John Callahan appears before an audience to talk about the casino complex being built on the South Side, he proudly notes the $800 million price tag, as if he's describing the cost of a fine work of art. But analysts who appeared this week at the fourth annual Pennsylvania Gaming Congress in Harrisburg aren't nearly as impressed. For them, Sands BethWorks might just be too nice for Wall Street to like. 'The experienced [casino] operators know how to make a property just nice enough,' said David Katz, executive director of the New York firm of Oppenheimer & Co. 'Some that we've seen in Pennsylvania have allowed costs to spin out of control.' [But] Las Vegas Sands Chief Executive Officer Sheldon Adelson has become one of the richest men in the world by defying Wall Street and breaking traditional models.

Casinos and health care

What do they have in common? Besides soaking us for bajillions, I mean? They are generally viewed as recession-proof -- even in hard times, people gamble, and people have compound fractures.

But lately, hospital systems (UPMC, we're talking about here) are getting hit with the fallout from the credit crunch and housing meltdown. And casinos are feeling it too:

"With the U.S. economy slowing, there are signs that Americans, especially those who frequent local casinos, are not in a betting mood. 'Competitive pressures in several markets do not appear likely to lessen in the near term,' Oppenheimer analyst David Katz [that guy again! Busy dude] said in a report on Wednesday. Harrah's Entertainment Inc, the world's largest casino company, and Boyd Gaming Corp. both posted weaker quarterly earnings on Wednesday and both described the economic environment as 'challenging.' Their weaker earnings come a day after Pinnacle Entertainment, which operates casinos in regional U.S. markets, posted a wider fourth-quarter loss, due mainly to costs related to opening a new casino."

Odds and ends

The new Hollywood casino near Harrisburg will have a no-smoking gambling section, thanks to complaints from customers ... The Meadows' slots tax obligation is already funding public projects in Washington County ... Slot machines are boosting the Pennsylvania racetracks that host them ... Will legalizing cash-paying tavern poker machines help repeal the unpopular drink tax? And would casinos stand for it? ... An editorial on the DeNaples situation ... Need a job? Grab a hammer! ... A casino might be coming to Maine, of all places, no doubt hoping to catch all the border traffic from New Brunswick.