I find all the advice on selecting the "perfect" swimsuit stretching things a bit.

How many of you are with me?

Burn belly fat in days? What's that all about?

Are you going to tell me those weight-losers on the recent cover of People weren't airbrushed -- just a little?

I mean, if you took all that you read at this time of year, including how to whip yourself into a beach cutie-patootie in seven days, and put it to the test, would you be transformed into a Betty Grable pin-up?

I know, who's Betty Grable? I think you know, if you are my age.

Today I suppose we'd be talking Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz or a like body-type.

Abs. Who knew we had them? And where are they?

Grable's famous '40s pin-up bathing suit photo showed long slim legs (heavily insured at the time) and a non-lumpy body and beautiful back. She was wearing high heels, of course.

Most of us didn't look like her, even then. But we wanted to.

Covering up is not the aim in swimwear these days. This month will surely bear me out as pools open and we head for beaches.

Article after article these past weeks instructed us how to shape up.

Those of us not in the running for beach ball beauty of the city pool season can only smile at the get-in-shape articles, not to mention how to find the perfect suit to hide your "problem area."

I am laughing as I wipe my tears!

Of course there are suits to make you appear smaller, or bigger as the case may be, and you can disguise a full tummy or a flat chest or a big bum or bulging midriff. But most of our body is still exposed and no amount of quick fixes can change passage of time.

Except maybe that airbrush I mentioned. Where can I get one of those?

We're wrinkled. Maybe even flabby. No "miracle suit" which claims to make you look 10 pounds thinner can hide bare flesh.

A high cut makes your legs look longer -- that's the expert talking to us. It's probably logistically true. But face it, showing more leg means showing more, shall we say, flaws.

Our skin, our bodies, through time, are not going to go the "amazing metamorphosis" route promised so readily.

Maybe it's just me, having had my day in the mirror, not to mention the sun.

You don't cover knees or upper arms in a bathing suit, and you don't cover skin, no matter how miraculous the stretchy fabric, how deceptive the peplum or the surplice wrap or the cut of the leg.

That part of my leg/thigh/whatever is never going to be firm.

I'm having a senior moment. I can't remember if it ever was firm.

An Olympic swimmer/movie star, Esther Williams, an idol of mine in the '40s, is now 85. I'd love to go swimsuit shopping with her today. I wonder if she would laugh with me? Or cry.

So, is there a perfect swimsuit? I don't think it's an across-the-board formula, or even a realistic aim for many of us, although many articles seem to promise us the moon, and those abs I mentioned.

But that shouldn't deter from our fun in the sun. Finally, my point.

Find a swimsuit in which you are comfortable, sitting by the pool or at the beach, or doing serious laps and jumping waves.

Wear a great hat. It needn't be red or purple -- just great.

Just don't allow less-than-perfect keep you out of the pool.