Daniel Marsula, Post-Gazette Click illustration for larger version. Celebrity pairs of older women, younger men pairs Two Web sites that offer dating advice and support to older-younger couples of all arrangements are www.agegap.com and www.maydecember.net. Among some of the celebrity older women-younger men couples are: Geena Davis, 49, and Reza Jarrahy, 34 Susan Sarandon, 59, and Tim Robbins, 46 Barbara Hershey, 57, and Naveen Andrews, 36 Madonna, 47, and Guy Ritchie, 37 Julianne Moore, 44, and Bart Freudlich, 35 Sheryl Crow, 43, and Lance Armstrong, 34 Cameron Diaz, 33, and Justin Timberlake, 24

It's not a hoax or some stunt on MTV's hidden camera show "Punk'd."

Demi Moore, 42, and Ashton Kutcher, 27, did indeed tie the knot late last month as one of an ever-growing list of older women-younger men celebrity couples.

There's Geena Davis and Reza Jarrahy, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, Barbara Hershey and Naveen Andrews, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, Julianne Moore and Bart Freundlich, Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong, even Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake, and the list goes on.

No one knows whether the Moore-Kutcher marriage will go the distance (we certainly wish them well) but their two-year courtship did last longer than the unions of Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, Tori Spelling and Charlie Shanian, and "One Tree Hill's" Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush combined. (Those all were slightly older men-younger women pairings, by the way!)

So, why is an older woman-younger man relationship still raising eyebrows? These relationships have been on the increase for years and not just among Hollywood types.

Although the U.S. Census Bureau tracked these pairings differently between 1997 and 2003, there's clearly a rise. In 1997, at least 117,000 of 4.1 million unmarried couples nationwide were women with men at least 10 years younger, and at least 262,000 of the 53 million married couples were women married to men at least 10 years younger, Census figures show.

In 2003, at least 421,000 of 4.6 million unmarried couples were women with men at least six years younger, and at least 2.3 million of the 58 million married couples were women married to men at least six years younger.

Coo coo ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson!

Older women-younger men relationships are more common today than they were even seven years ago when the film "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," about such a romance, hit theaters. The movie "Something's Gotta Give" also included an older woman-younger man pairing between characters played by Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves, who also have been romantically linked off screen. Even one of the Grand Dames of British theater, Judi Dench, broached this subject in the sensitive movie "Ladies in Lavender," which explored an older woman's affection, however unrequited, for a much younger man.

In the short-lived VH1 reality show "Kept," super model and actress Jerry Hall (the former Mrs. Mick Jagger) schooled 12 young hunks in culture and elegance in a sort of The Bachelorette meets The Apprentice-styled competition to find one young charmer worthy of being a "Kept" man.

Despite the increased visibility of May-December relationships in popular culture and the increased number of them in the real world, society's view of such relationships has been a bit slower to evolve.

"A 50-year-old man dating a 20-year-old girl brags about it and talks about it all the time. He's a stud. He's Mr. Macho," says Debbie Doerr, 52, of Moon, who met her husband of 15 years, Jon, when she was 33 and he was 18. "When it's an older woman dating a younger guy, she's looked at as a cradle robber or a pervert. As a result, we tend not to talk about it."

Sandy Paprocki of Lawrenceville will discuss it. She prefers dating men at least 10 years younger and is tired of the double standard.

"Look at Donald Trump. ... Look at Hugh Hefner," says Ms. Paprocki, who is in her mid-50s but currently not seeing anyone. "They can do it, and it's perfectly fine and they're commended for getting a young woman, but you reverse it, and it's not good. It's taboo."

Patricia Lutz of Verona thinks relationships between older women and younger men are still news to some -- although not to her -- because it's still considered exotic. People conjure up images of sexual stamina and intrigue when they think of an older woman with a younger man, she says.

"As if love crosses all boundaries and all things except for age," said Ms. Lutz, 53, who met her husband of 16 years, John, when she was 34 and he was 22. "It just couldn't possibly be that two people love each other and found mutual ground, could it? People just either assume that there's something provocative about our relationship or there's something wrong with John."

Two years ago, Mark Lobosco, with a friend, Jeremy Mape, created the racy urbancougar.com to pay homage to these women they call Urban Cougars -- "a sophisticated species of female who seeks the pleasure of younger males. She avoids the entanglements of a 'relationship' in favor of the freedom of the hunt," according to the Web site.

Samantha Jones on "Sex and the City" definitely was an Urban Cougar.

"The Urban Cougar is a woman who is independent, financially secure, sexy, staying young in mind and in her late 30s, 40s, even 50s," says Mr. Lobosco, 29, of San Francisco. "We started this site as a tribute to sexy, independent older women and the men who love them."

The site includes a dating service, classification of different types of cougars and prey, an informal guide on where to find Urban Cougars (in Pittsburgh, Soba in Shadyside is listed as a Cougar den), urbancougar.com merchandise.

Celebrity pairings like Moore-Kutcher have increased the visibility and popularity of older women-younger men relationships.

More older women are dating younger men because they can. In general, older women today have more financial freedom than they've ever had, they're looking better and staying younger- looking longer, and dressing more hip than they have in the past, he said.

"The whole younger man-older woman relationship does have an expiration period," said Mr. Lobosco, whose site has 40,000 to 50,000 unique users each month. "When [men are] in their 20s, they're pretty focused on their careers and society tells them they can get married later. They find these women who are their intellectual peers but not looking for commitment."

So, is Demi no longer an Urban Cougar since she's married her cub and embraced commitment?

"No," he says. "She's still a cougar because she still has many of the characteristics that make one a cougar: She's hot, wealthy and now married to a younger man."

In the past three years, data from MATCH.COM, a Dallas-based online dating site with more than 15 million members, have shown an increase in women's willingness to date younger men and men's willingness to date older women.

Although a little more than 30 percent of women in MATCH.COM's data base were willing to date men five or more years younger in 2002 and 2005, the women willing to date men 10 or more years younger rose from 7 percent to 13 percent in those years.

For men, those willing to date women five or more years older increased from 27 percent to 39 percent between 2002 and 2005 and for a 10-year or more difference, the percentage of men rose from 10 percent to 20 percent.

"If you have a compatible relationship and you have that spark everyone wants in their life, why let a few years age difference stop it?" says Kristin Kelly, MATCH.COM spokeswoman.

"You have a generation of young men who are part of the first generation in this country that were raised from the cradle up by working part-time or full-time women, and they were raised with a different attitude, a constant evolution of different roles and expectations," she says. "The younger men and their attitudes are right in sync with the attitudes of women in their 40s and 50s."

Ms. Paprocki, who is twice divorced, says the younger men she dates don't care about age, and she likes how they're more fun, flexible, fit and good-looking.

"I like to go motorcycle riding, and if you're looking at a guy 55 and up, they're not interested," she says. "They want to sit in front of the fire or watch a movie or cuddle on the couch, and I'm like, 'Oh, come on!' "

She understands why more younger men are looking to older women, too.

"When they're looking for [an older woman], they think you already have your life in order and you're sexually experienced and you're not looking to have a family and they don't want that, either," she said.

Her only rule is she won't date men younger than her son, who is 35 and supportive of her dating.

The only slight disadvantage to dating younger men is that they want spontaneity all the time, she says, while older men tend to plan ahead.

Years ago, she dated a man 20 years her junior, although he thought he was only 10 years younger. She initially resisted his advances, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Finally, she said, "What the heck? Why not?"

Every older woman who dates or falls in love with a younger man isn't necessarily an Urban Cougar, a woman who prefers to date younger men usually more for fun than forever.

"People assume I have money, but I'm not a sugar mama," says Ms. Lutz, who says she's never been a cougar. "Up until a month ago, I had a 10-year-old Ford Windstar.

"You do see women who are out there clubbing who are dressing and acting 20 and 30 years younger," she says. "I'm not that. I'm a 53-year-old overweight mom with problems with her knees."

Ms. Doerr doesn't consider herself a cougar, either. She wasn't looking for a younger man when she met her husband.

"He had to do a lot of convincing and a whole lot of chasing to convince me," she says. "Me, being a woman my age, I got lucky, but I wouldn't advise any 33-year-old woman to go out looking for an 18-year-old boy. You have to nurse him through all that growing-up stuff."

The age difference rarely is an issue now that they're settled and happily married. The future, however, may bring situations that same-aged couples may not face.

"We're starting to get to the point where we have to start to talk about retirement," Ms. Doerr says. "How do you start to talk about it when I'm going to be 65 and ready and he'll only be 50?"

Older women dating and marrying younger men isn't going away. Women will have achieved true liberation when older women can date or even marry younger men without anyone batting an eye or dropping a jaw.

"I think it will become such the norm that having a [Web] site that talks about it won't be necessary," Mr. Lobosco said. "For now, we're still fighting for women's right to date younger men."