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PrintSliding into their racing silks
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Stacy Innerst, Post-Gazette Click illustration for larger image. |
Yes, we know the Kentucky Derby in Louisville is over.
We're talking about the slug races in Oakland.
Saturday and Sunday, Carnegie Museum of Natural History will let loose these fleet mollusks (which do have feet, or to be precise, foot) as part of the family fun of its "Birds, Bugs and Slugs Weekend."
Tim Pearce, the museum's assistant curator of mollusks, offers a few racing tips:
"You can pick your slug based on its breeding, its win-loss record, its training times or its post position. Myself, I pick slugs on their aerodynamic shape."
He didn't discuss betting, on or off track, but word is he might provide incentive to the racers in the form of garlic sauce. Morning File can't speak to the appropriateness of mint juleps, but with racing slugs, don't leave unattended any open beer.
He's no slug
Morning File extends a big fat Pittsburgh welcome to Ryan Stroud, who's passing through town today on his way home to Cincinnati. On foot. Running.
After doing the Boston Marathon, Stroud just kept going. He's pounding out 30 miles a day, hoping to motivate Americans to lose a collective 200,000 pounds. Pittsburgh need not take his visit personally, since we are just along the route, right?
The once less fit Stroud, whose oldest son was born with spinal bifida, also is raising money for the Wheelchair Foundation and says that "we need to nourish and cherish our bodies, and make the most of our abilities, whatever they are, and continue to build upon them everyday."
For more info or to pledge or to track Stroud's exact location: www.200000in2005.com.
Bass line
Only 82 days until the CITGO Bassmasters Classic.
Rock, paper, what?
You no longer have to play rock, paper, scissors for free and with just your fists, hands, fingers. That's "so last century," according to Pressman Toy, which makes a boxed version, just now hitting Toys R Us stores. "The Rock, Paper, Scissors Game!" features three-paneled consoles with 3-D figures of each playing element; after players make their choices, they flip a "reveal shield" to see who scores.
Nothing old-school about this game: You've probably seen the original no-tech version on TV commercials for Sierra Mist. Fox Sports broadcast the World Rock Paper Scissors Society (that'd be the WRPSS) championships. There's even an RPS movie due this summer.
Proving this is not just child's play, a Japanese executive recently used rock, paper, scissors to decide whether his company's multi-million-dollar art collection would be sold by Christie's or Sotheby's. Who won?
Scissors beats paper. That is, Christie's. The New York City auction house didn't specify its cut of the $17.8 million sale. The WRPSS Web site www.worldrps.com calls it the "RPS Match of the Century."
Fruity but sweet
Fruit flowers are here!
They're "edible floral creations" crafted from cut fruit -- petals of pineapple, leaves of melon, etc.
For some reason, Morning File couldn't interest the Food & Flavor section in these "fabulous, fresh fruit bouquets tastefully arranged for any occasion," including winning at the slug races. Just make sure the sendee isn't allergic to strawberries.
You can see examples at www.fruitflowers.com. "We do have several vegetable arrangments," notes Anna Baird, one of the owners of Incredibly Edible Delites new Pittsburgh-area outlet in Bridgeville (412-221-2151).
Inside the PG
Today, according to our intranet site, the Post-Gazette snack bar specials are:
• Grilled Cheese/Small Soup Combo
• Pizza Bread
• Tomato Soup
Guy from Ross helps Boss
Matt De Reno of Ross is the winner of last week's "Please Help Bruce" contest, held to coincide with the debut of Bruce Springsteen's new album, "Devils & Dust". Readers were invited to adopt the Boss' lyrical style in composing a song verse about Pittsburgh. We thank all who participated, and we apologize for failing to note that Springsteen did indeed make reference to the city in a song on his 1998 boxed set, "Tracks." It's about a lonely woman, "A Good Man is Hard to Find (Pittsburgh)," begins and ends with the only Pittsburgh line, but one that captures quite a bit about our fair city: "It's cloudy out in Pittsburgh."
Matt's song is more upbeat and will strike a chord with "Thunder Road" fans:
The sneeze guard slams, Dolly, the ham slicer, waves.
Like a vision she dances across Land O' Lakes brands
While a senior citizen pays.
Lanny Frattare sings for the lonely.
The ham is all gone and I don't want baloney.
Don't turn me on the Parkway inbound again.
I just can't face myself on that potholed expressway-to-hell again.
Don't run back inside, darlin', there's pickleloaf that I'm here for.
So you're scared and you're thinking maybe it's not that young anymore.
Show a little faith, there's magic in the price.
It's not as good as the ham, but hey, I'll add spice.
And that's all right with me tonight.
Our runner-up song is set in Pittsburgh where a young man has just brought his girlfriend home from a date, late! It's by the mother-daughter team of Joanna and McKenzie Mungai of Washington, Pa., and is titled not "The River," but "The City."
I come from down in the city
Where the three rivers do flow
The skies above Neville Island used to glow
Me and Mary we met on the South Side
When she was barely sixteen
We'd ride in from the suburbs out from where the air was clean
We'd ride down to the city
And in through the tunnels we'd go
Oh down to the city we'd ride
Then I brought Mary home late
And man that was just not cool
So for the next two hours I listened as her dad told me 'bout his rule
We went down to the basement
And her pa said that I was wrong
No more dates, that was it -- she'd be grounded awhile
No movies, no singin' songs
I wished we'd ride down to the city
And in through the tunnels we'd go
Oh down to the city we'd ride
I got a job making sandwiches for the Primanti Brothers
And lately we've been open all night serving up golden fries and cole slaw
Now all your rules that seem so important
Well sir, I just wish you would reconsider
Please act like you don't remember
And I'll act like I'm not here
But I remember us cruising down West Liberty
It was bumper to bumper got no room for me
Once we rode up the Duquesne Incline
Mount Washington is where I said, "Please be mine."
Now those memories are fillin' my head
Her dad sure does seem terse
My dream's alive, he won't let it come true
How could I feel much worse?
Please send us down to the city
Though I know you won't let us go
Could we go down to the city tonight?
Down to the city tonight
Your daughter and I
Oh down to the city we'll hide!
And from Tony Accettulla of Dormont: "Big Ben'll Start" (to "Hungry Heart")
Got season tickets to Heinz Field Jack
I went dahn for a game and I never went back
Like a spilled beer that don't know where it's flowing
I took another sip and just kept going
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
Lay down your money at the vendor cart
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
We met him on Draft Day '04
We fell in love we knew it had to end
The Pats took what we had and ripped it apart
Will we be back in the playoffs again (Stan?)
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
Lay down your money at the vendor cart
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
Everybody needs offseason rest
Everbody wants to have a home (field advantage)
Don't make no difference what Myron says
Ain't nobody like to play on the road, YOI!
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
Lay down your money at the vendor cart
Everybody knows that Big Ben'll start
